I hope you all had a very merry Christmas! I had a great one. I’ll share more of what I’ve been up to in a Christmas break faves post next week. Today let’s chat about the new year that is quickly approaching. Talk of resolutions is ramping up, yet I’m coming up empty with any idea for myself. I’m not saying there’s nothing I can improve about myself or try in the new year. I just don’t have any big, sweeping goals. However, I do have some mantras I’ve been thinking of lately that I want to take with me into 2018. Resolutions sound big and scary to me. Mantras…I can get on board with those. Ok, here are my mantras for 2018-feel free to borrow and please share any you’re loving!
This is adapted from one of my favorite quotes in Amy Poehler’s book Yes, Please. I read it a few years ago and enjoyed all of it, but what has stuck with me since then was this quote: “Good for her, not for me.” Amy (I like to think we are on a first name basis) wrote about this in terms of women supporting each other, even when we have different goals, approaches, and so forth. I absolutely love this and especially like to keep it in mind in terms of health and wellness.
When I hear people talking about things I know would not be helpful (or healthful) for me, like a new diet or exercise plan or pursuing weight loss, I think “Good for them, not for me.” Maybe this year you are trying to move away from dieting, or have more self-compassion, or reframe exercise as something enjoyable rather than a way to punish yourself. That can be really difficult, and even more so when everyone around you seems to be doing the opposite. Even if you are feeling good about where you are, hearing about a cool-sounding new workout or popular diet plan may lead to some FOMO. If you know it doesn’t align with your values and goals, or you tried it and had a bad experience, you can think “good for them, not for me,” and keep on doing you.
This is also reminds me that we all have different goals. We are at different points of our intuitive eating journey. Heck, many people will not even be on an intuitive eating/intuitive living journey, whether it’s because they haven’t heard of it or just are not interested. This saying helps me remember that what is important to me may not be important to others, and vice versa. Of course I would love to see the tide shift towards a more relaxed and compassionate attitude towards food and exercise and our bodies. I’m very open about that here and with people in real life as appropriate, but sometimes I just don’t want to go there.
I may say something about intuitive eating or why I’m not dieting if prompted, but nobody is going to listen to me if I’m smacking diet food out of their hands. If I say anything at all, I just try to phrase it as, “This is what works for me and makes me feel good, I hope XYZ will be good for you!” And then the conversation can continue or just end, and everyone leaves happy and feeling respected.
My point is that I am strong in my values and beliefs, but I try to remember good for them, not for me when I see or encounter someone who approaches things differently-whether that’s trying a new diet or prescribing them for others. It can be hard because I tend to get riled up about this stuff, but over time I’ve learned to simmer down a little and be understanding-after all, even just a few years ago I had totally different ideas about health.
This mantra is simple and powerful. I have a tendency to dwell on things I did or said, and generally just be self-critical. I know, I’m also all about self-compassion so shouldn’t I be better about this?! I’m a work in progress. When I’m being critical of myself, I try to remember that I am imperfectly me, and that is enough. I hope to remember this and be even nicer to myself in 2018. 🙂
This one isn’t beautiful or groundbreaking, but important as someone who has been a worrier since my early years. Sometimes worrying is fine and serves a purpose, but mostly when I’m worrying about silly things or the future it’s just ruining the present moment and stealing my joy. Get outta here, worrying!
I hope you find one of these useful as we move into a new year! Chip and I are heading to Raleigh on Saturday to ring in 2018 with some of his college buddies and their significant others. I’m excited and will see you back here next year!